Gravy

Praise the Lord and pass the gravy

Dave got drunk and joined the navy;

raise a glass to Aunt Louise

who passed away and pass the peas

Turkey’s cold but so’s the beer

send them sweet potatoes here

grab a plate, don’t mind the clutter

green beans and some bread and butter

Cousin Crystal brought her kids

(Lord knows who their daddy is)

Cousin Carl’s ex-wife Jan

(call her Jim now – she’s a man)

Someone go tell Uncle Teddy

time to wash up – supper’s ready;

he’s up under Ann’s corvette,

still ain’t got it started yet

Grandpa’s gripin’ ‘bout his gout

collard greens and brussels sprouts;

grandma’s mixin’ up her lunch,

that famous bowl of julep punch

Some stuffing and some dirty rice

cranberry sauce and pop on ice,

sure wish Cousin Frank was here -

hope he makes parole next year

The kids is raisin’ hell, I swear –

s’why they’re sittin’ over there,

sneakin’ more potato chips

and olives on their fingertips

But that’s the whole damn point, I guess -

the din and fights and food and mess –

sure we’re rowdy, plain and poor

but we’re what we’re all thankful for.

I’ll take pumpkin and pecan

someone turn the ballgame on -

praise the Lord, the last is first,

sweet Jesus, think I’m

gonna burst.