the first verse is just great, really sucked me in.and i love this:"the silence here is ominous,the eye inside the twisterthat rips apart the trailer parki built the day i kissed her"you put into words things that cross my mind all the time. your poems are a gift to the world that I very much appreciate.:)
some pretty hot rhymin' theremissy
"i’m quick to ask for boundless lovebut i’m no good to give it -cocksure and wise, i proselytize,too goddamn dumb to live it." and so it is... I really feel these words, and I'll quote you on that, be sure!Your poems are pure joy :)
Mannnnnnnn... I so DIG your metaphors! Your way w/ words is as clever as a heyday Dylan with his songs.Keep penning & winning!One.
That fifth stanza continues to ring in my head after reading the poem. The 'zipper' line caught me so off guard I coughed a chuckle. (grin)p.s.I've included your previous poem, "Impulse Purchase", in a list of must-read ones, in my recent blog post. Just a heads up. Cheers.
what they all said...
"feeling like i stole a lifeso good it makes me shiver,you can have my heart, my dear,i’ll trade you for a liver"I love the parallelism here to the organ black market. Interesting work :) well done
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