Apostrophe
Apostrophe, misunderstood,
and commonly misused,
I wonder if it makes you sad
or if you are amused.
Although unmoved by plurals
I find it most impressive
that your heart’s unselfish mission
is denoting the possessive.
You’re frequently omitted
and yet you volunteer
to indicate omission;
Ironical? Or queer?
Will we ever understand you
or will you endlessly expose
our imperfect grasp of grammar?
I guess heaven only know’s.
Apostrophe, misunderstood,
and commonly misused,
I wonder if it makes you sad
or if you are amused.
Although unmoved by plurals
I find it most impressive
that your heart’s unselfish mission
is denoting the possessive.
You’re frequently omitted
and yet you volunteer
to indicate omission;
Ironical? Or queer?
Will we ever understand you
or will you endlessly expose
our imperfect grasp of grammar?
I guess heaven only know’s.
Question Mark
Question mark, who made you?
Why do you loop and drop?
How is it that you always know
When questions need to stop?
Semicolon
Not quite a colon, not quite a comma,
your mark is distinction; you’re given to drama.
You like clauses independent; you link them up like so.
You’re the comma comma calls on when a list requires a pro.
When John, from Jamaica; Frank, from Peru;
and Tim get together, you know what do.
Not quite a comma, not quite a colon,
You wait for the thunder; consider it stolen.
Period
A little dot. So simple, yet
as useful as a speck can get.
A little dot, and yet so great,
to end and to abbreviate.
Some say you’re a decimal,
but I must disagree.
(Perhaps you are – I must admit
that math’s just not for me.)
You are Punctuation, Inc.,
the spot that stops the thoughts I think.
A little dot. So simple, yet
so easy, sometimes, to forget
Comma
Comma is that breath you take,
a quiet pause, a little break,
when a new clause has begun
dependant on the other one.
It’s always happy to assist
sort out the items on a list
so we’re not stumped, mixed up, confused
by different things becoming fused.
When in pairs, somewhat like these,
they stand in for parentheses.
“They’re used with quotes,” the scholars say,
“when it’s the object, see? This way.”
Between coordinate adjectives,
after greetings on missives;
your cheerful, sideways smile’s a clue.
Dear Comma, what can you not do?
Quotation Marks
“It’s with pleasure I appear
each time you use a quote, my dear –
direct that is, not paraphrased,
corralling what another says.”
Have you any other quirks?
“well - titles of artistic works,
nicknames and use-mention too -
I act as italics do.”
What about to emphasize?
Is it alright? Is it wise?
“Perhaps, I guess, occasionally-
when words are used ironically.”
I see – now I have the tools.
I “love” all of these grammar rules!
English isn’t all that tough!
“All right, wise guy, that’s enough.”
Colon
I went strollin’ with a colon
and we had a little chat
‘bout the way that it could help me
when I’m writin’ this or that.
It can introduce descriptions
or the items in a group
and we had a three course dinner:
lemon cake and steak and soup.
It can introduce an outcome
of a fact that is preceding
so I thanked it for the meal:
colon said that it was treating.
I went bowlin’ with a colon.
Know why that’s its favorite game?
‘Cause it’s two dots down the middle
like two balls in every frame!
[a collection that’s been pieced together over the last couple of years, mainly as catharsis – how is it that, judging from their correspondence, better educated and better compensated professionals seem to be at such a loss when it comes to the basic use of common punctuation marks?]
