Ray Combs

The road began at Hoodwinks
telling jokes for free drinks
killed on the Tonight Show
got me a big stand O

Richard D was history
handed it right to me
some kid from Ohio
looked good in stilettos

Survey
my way
no cash
car crash
strung up in a closet
it’s not the answer you wanted, was it

Hob-knobbed with the A list
shook hands and I got kissed
all about the giving
asked questions for a living

I’m sure they’ll all remember
forever and forever
me and Dick and Bob and Wink
tickling our contestants pink

Survey
my way
no cash
car crash
strung up in a closet
it’s not the answer you wanted, was it

Dickie came back into town
I was out a gig and down
no one seemed to come around
no work for a one note clown

Swimming in a sea of red
maybe in over my head
guess that’s how the cookie breaks
between the suits and sharks and snakes

Survey
my way
no cash
car crash
strung up in a closet
it’s not the answer you wanted, was it

Got off the road in Glendale
stepped onto the third rail
sure do miss the family
wonder if they’ll miss me

another TV tragedy
check it out all month on E!
the guy who tried but couldn’t be
I swear to god that isn’t me
can’t go back to comedy
standing up is hard you see
when you’re crying til you choke
because the braces pinch and poke
and your ego needs a stroke
but you’re busted and you’re broke
and you find out you are the joke

Survey
my way
no cash
car crash
strung up in a closet
it’s not the answer you wanted, was it

[hey, was anybody looking for a poem that appears to be lyrics to a punk song about a relatively obscure late 80’s game show host? because, um, i found one. from the archives, late 90’s.]