Thursday, December 3, 2009
Sitting Room
Shot the dog in September.
Now it’s
December.
Not very much
I can do
but remember.
Found an old note
in my corduroy
coat.
Just something silly
she sat down
and wrote.
I watch from my window
the kids in the snow.
How quickly they climb
and their squeals as they go.
I watch from my window
the grey fade to dark.
Wait for a phone call,
a footstep,
a bark.
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11 comments:
Hi, Joaquin. I always love the stories in your poems and how the words let the reader's mind roam. My twisted mind conjures up dark things in the first stanza (I like dark), yet it may be an innocent, "Old Yeller" scenario. I like that you give me that freedom and don't spell it out for me.
It's also fantastic how the poem ends with "a bark." It feels like an echo, and I can actually hear it. Wonderful words, Joaquin.
You are one of a kind, and I mean that in the most flattering way! Your poems always surprise and delight me, whether they tell the whole story in great detail or leave much to be filled in, as this one does.
I finally gave in and bought the book sans signature (that's what I was holding out for). These blogs are great, but I can't wait to get your book in my hands so I can go back and back to those I love.
Such loneliness you've painted into this one. It really made me thing of the grumpy old man, one who has alienated everyone, then realises he is all alone. Bravo!
Oh, wowwww. I really love this! (big surprise)
I see an old man, too. He shot the dog, not because he wanted to, but because he had to. The dog was old,sick,hurt???? No money for the vet. Just a lonely person who has no one. Sad about watching the kids...then grey to dark.
The last three lines really got to me....Ugggh, like a shot to the gut! No one calls, no one comes to see him. He misses the dog - his only companion, now gone - and as fate would have it, by his hand!
Joaquin Carvel, a poet extraordinaire.
I don't know how it always happens that even your "sad" poems make me smile. It's just because of your words and delivery and more. I am not a talented writer/poet, but if I were, I'd want to be a K. Lawson Gilbert Joaquin Carvel hybrid. The stanza starting "Found an old note.." was where my heart tightened. You've captured lonliness here alarmingly well!Great, great work.
I bought 2 of your books, friend. I just got an e-mail saying they've shipped! Christmas is comin' early for Troop!
Aw! I'm laughing through a sad frown here Joaquin! So glad to be back here. I love your poetry so much.
Everything that Kaye said and whole heartedly agree with Karen that you sure are "one of a kind" :D
We all weave our own versions of the story along the way and no one hates their own stories. :)
dat is sadds. and lonely.
i am shoor my jannie wood agree.
there was a bigg dog who used to chase me and he gone away now but i reely missing him. he was not bad, just a bit anoying.
see you soon!
Can relate. A poet's mind is something I can only see from a distance and understand but neer have. Yours sometimes make me feel like it's tailor made for me. I don't know how stupid that sounds to you and I don't want to know either but I'm gonna echo everyone else's opinion. Again. You're amazing.
I felt the weight of time here. Of time sitting on memory, waiting for a future that belongs to those kids, so active and gloriously alive and new. While the narrator has turned passive with the punishment of years. Too many memories and actions that hurt.
That last stanza is a killer. You gutted this poem of any filler, and left behind only the essence. I found myself listening, too. Extraordinary work, as usual! :)
julie - i like that too - that freedom, and how diferent people see things from different angles. thank you!
karen - thank you - i am most flattered! and i'm sorry about not having any copies to sign, but hope you'll enjoy the book anyway.:)
rachel - thank you - i didn't think about it relating to the other one but now that you mention it i can see the connection.
k. - while i do love to see where people's imaginations lead them - you've hit this nail on the head as far as what i was thinking. thank you. (i like "a poet extraordinaire" - i should make business cards. ha!)
troooooop! (sorry, just have to carry that "o")- "a K. Lawson Gilbert Joaquin Carvel hybrid" - holy cow - imgining that boggles my mind. thank you - and two books?! i won't ask why, i'll just say thanks again!
cat - thank you - good to hear from you. awesome stuff happening over at your new place!
aniket - "no one hates their own stories" - :) - so true. thank you!
bb - yes, i guess it is. big doggs are cool. say hi to jannie for me!
blo-mo - honestly, it doesn't sound stupid. it sounds like a compliment - from a poet's mind. thank you.
sarah - i love how you've put it - "the punishment of years" - exactly. thank you. it is pretty spare - but it's good to gut 'em sometimes. seems like it was the right call for this one.
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