In dew-strung webs the fall begins
in cardamom
cicada skins
in curling wisps
of apple air
deposing summer
unaware
let loose that fistful of balloons
to finger paint
strange afternoons
through distant color
hungry skies
in foreign wonder
hungry eyes
A certain sad September
I prefer to not
remember
a letter came
(week to the day)
still can’t open
(but I may)
every diamond left uncut
keeps its hallowed
secrets but
given over
for the grinding
casts a brilliance
worth the finding
So let this glacial winter pass;
nothing dies
the summer grass
binds her roots
beneath the snow -
just give her spring
and watch her grow
Thursday, March 19, 2009
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9 comments:
Very well-written!!! Keep them coming!!!
"So let this glacial winter pass;
nothing dies
the summer grass
binds her roots
beneath the snow -
just give her spring
and watch her grow "
ABSOLUTE PERFECT HOPE! love it :)
Ah, Thursday! That means I have the pleasure of another Joaquin Carvel poem! Ah...
...and I love, love this one. Title: great! Imagery: wonderful! Meaning: so wistful, so hopeful!
Here are some of my favorite images: the dew-strung webs, curling wisps of apple air, balloons finger painting the sky, the uncut diamond given for the grinding, grass roots being bound beneath the snow. All so evocative and beautiful!
Again, I have to tell you how very much I love the rhyme and the rhythm of your poetry.
I was also so happy when it hit me....it's THURSDAY!
I wish I was a writer and wrote the last stanza. Actually, the first one, too. "cardamom cicada skins" will stay with me forever! It must be satisfying to be able to think and write this way. Just a lovely poem, Joaquin. I was thrilled by the title! Onemonopia(sp?) is my favorite word ever.
Now, we all wait a week.....ugh
I am in awe of this poem. Every stanza a gem to be admired. You write [effortlessly] (I know there is no such thing, believe me)a
poem that is both sophisticated and complex. I wonder at the many essences that rise up from the words - the nuances of meaning, those subtle shifts in artistic expression that keep me guessing- the use of alliteration, imitative harmony, the way you so flexibly integrate words into structure.
LOVE - AND WISH I HAD WRITTEN THESE LINES:
In dew-strung webs the fall begins
in cardamom cicada skins...
let loose that fistful of balloons
to finger paint strange afternoons...
every diamond left uncut
keeps its hallowed
secrets but
given over
for the grinding
casts a brilliance
worth the finding
Wow...then you pull all of it together with the final strong stanza!!
Fantastic! ;)
I can only echo everyone else when I say...WOW! What wonderful line and rhythm.
You know how I was saying in your last post that I think of e.e. cummings when I read your work? Phrases like "apple air" are the reason. That is awesome! That entire stanza rocks, and I love "cicada skins/in curling wisps/of apple air."
I love how you take a phrase and turn it around, and with just those few words, the reader can see, hear, smell, taste, and feel the air. Yep. I can see that air. Excellent poem. I love it.
Sinply the best ryhming poetry I've read.
Just love the whole fistfull of balloons verse.
And of course I want to know what's in that letter.
Wonderful. I was captivated after the first stanza. It flows - though admirably, not with the fashion. I shall come back to this.
brosreview – thank you – i’ll try!
silly girl – thank you – seemed a good send-off on the last day of winter.
karen - i always appreciate your thoughtful comments – but having just read your “25” list – i am even more grateful and just kind of blown away. thank you, sincerely.
troop – thank you – funny, i often wish i could paint – and imagine you must experience the same satisfaction. (i love onomatopoeia too – little rollercoaster of a word)
k. – wow – thank you. your mention and qualification of “effortlessly” made me smile - the diamond stanza was the first one i wrote and the last one i finished. glad it was worth it!
julie – thank you for that. i am the last person who can speak accurately to my influences – too close, i guess – but any allusion to cummings is high praise to me!
jannie – today, or ever? just kidding – don’t answer that. thank you – and I do too. sometimes.
dave – thank you for dropping in – and i hope you do.
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