Praise the Lord and pass the gravy
Dave got drunk and joined the navy;
raise a glass to Aunt Louise
who passed away and pass the peas
Turkey’s cold but so’s the beer
send them sweet potatoes here
grab a plate, don’t mind the clutter
green beans and some bread and butter
Cousin Crystal brought her kids
(Lord knows who their daddy is)
Cousin Carl’s ex-wife Jan
(call her Jim now – she’s a man)
Someone go tell Uncle Teddy
time to wash up – supper’s ready;
he’s up under Ann’s corvette,
still ain’t got it started yet
Grandpa’s gripin’ ‘bout his gout
collard greens and brussels sprouts;
grandma’s mixin’ up her lunch,
that famous bowl of julep punch
Some stuffing and some dirty rice
cranberry sauce and pop on ice,
sure wish Cousin Frank was here -
hope he makes parole next year
The kids is raisin’ hell, I swear –
s’why they’re sittin’ over there,
sneakin’ more potato chips
and olives on their fingertips
But that’s the whole damn point, I guess -
the din and fights and food and mess –
sure we’re rowdy, plain and poor
but we’re what we’re all thankful for.
I’ll take pumpkin and pecan
someone turn the ballgame on -
praise the Lord, the last is first,
sweet Jesus, think I’m
gonna burst.