Thursday, February 4, 2010

Used Two


I used to feel you think of me.
It’s been a while
but that could be
it was only
wishful thinking
or whatever
I was drinking.

I used to feel you felt me too.
Not anymore
I guess that you
found whatever
in the space
you needed and
if that’s the case

I guess I’m glad
you cut the strings -

I used to feel
a lot of things.

12 comments:

Karen said...

I love this! It is so deceptively simple, yet it says so much. I love the rhyme and the ending couplet. Yay for Thursday!

Sarah Hina said...

Reading this, it felt like an excavation is buried beneath these lines. It also made me think of Aimee Mann's "One."

For me, numbness has always seemed like a shroud for pain, and I'm not sure which is worse--feeling too much, or too little. Pain, at least, has some heartbeat of hope and desire still pressing behind it.

I guess, in the end, I have to believe that, though some roots may be cut, others wait to grow when the thaw comes.

(btw, I loved your "Prime Cuts!" Her music is amazing. She reminds me a bit of Priscilla Ahn...and maybe Keren Ann, too. Anyway, thanks for the tip--off to buy some songs now...)

BloggerMouth said...

Lucid. But profound. THIS is poetry.

Probably one of your poems I can best relate to. Sometimes, you know that nothing's left for you to hope but despite yourself you keeping looking out of the window.

Thank you Joaquin. For writing.

K.Lawson Gilbert said...

Love and loss - such a powerful prompt for poets. You define the feelings so well with your poetic style. Absolutely crafted.

(I hope I am not overstepping the bounds of friendship when I say that "she" is a fool.)

RachelW said...

Such cynicism. I love the "found whatever" part. Maybe it's because I've heard someone close to me say that, more than once. I guess it's just another way that we protect ourselves from being hurt.

Silly Girl said...

:) It's been a while...

I like this, and I like the title "used two" - like in well at least that is my interpretation of it ;)

I'll be back!

Silly Girl said...

*like in - we used to be two

:P

Aniket said...

You had to bring this up right now didn't you? Its her birthday in a couple of days and almost an year she cut the strings.

But then again, I'm not too sad, after all, I used to feel a lot of things too. :)

Okay, I've often wondered, How old are you? Your work varies from teenage doubts to some very serious and sensible stuff. Makes me wonder? :P

catvibe said...

Aniket, he'll never tell you! ;-)

Joaquin, this sounds painful. Moving though feelings and numb things and resolve and just the things we tell ourselves to survive the pain of being dumped.

In reading the words 'I used' they could be taken two ways. Both as a reference to the past, or as a reference to using a substance or perhaps even the addiction to another person, the rush. I used to feel. I can relate to it either way.

Julie said...

Hi, Joaquin. Your poems always touch me in the soul. We've all been here at one time or another, and it hits that note of familiarity. I love "wishful thinking/or whatever/I was drinking." And the last two lines almost end with an echo. It's a perfect ending. A perfect title, too.

I read the poem in two ways--with two different voices. One way is the sad and painful one I mentioned above. Maybe the narrator is wishing the "you" would come back, as in phrases like "I guess" I'm glad/you cut the strings.

The other voice I feel is a bit sarcastic, which I like, but it might be my own personal reading voice getting in the way of your intent. Maybe it's a touch of both. But whatever way I read it, I think it's an awesome poem.

joaquin carvel said...

karen - thank you - and yay for readers!

sarah - i agree about numbness - i think a little can help when things get overwhelming, but it can hurt when it becomes the de facto response. pain at least means you're alive. thank you. (glad you like zee - need to find me some Priscilla Ahn now...)

blo-mo - looking out the window - i probably do that too much, but there's a lot out there. thank you, for reading.

k - thank you - i felt for a while it wasn't finished, then felt that it was - so your comment means a lot. (and no, you're not - though i think she just knew what she wanted.)

rachel - thank you - i guess cynicism is most often a defense - or maybe fear.

sg - hey there! thank you - i can see the title a few different ways, but that way is why i chose it.

aniket - ouch. sorry about that. (chicks, man.) but - maybe this week's poem is right on time. (and - i simply can't make a liar out of cat. ;))

cat - yes! - it wasn't intentional, but when i started to see "used to" that way i liked how it opened up to interpretation. you caught that a lot sooner than i did. thank you.

julie - thank you. i think this one really is more the reader's poem than the writer's - but i will say that when i'm sad, i'm usually just quiet; when i'm hurt, i can be....regrettable.

maaga..... said...

get out of my head!!

:)