Thursday, September 17, 2009


walk in alone
walk out alone
and in between
there’s stuff to own
and calls to make
and work to do
and someone who will
make you blue

bets to place
on daily races
(if you’re lucky
little faces)
things to worry yourself sick
a perfect day
a little kick

yes in between the doors is where
we carve our names
into the air
and just before we know
we’re gone
we think about
whose mind we’re on.


Karen said...

You always surprise and delight with your insight and wit, joaquin.

As playful as it feels, however, the whole poem reminds me, in a profound way, of Keats' epitaph: Here lies one whose name was writ in water."

A breath, a vapor, vanity of vanities...

The title, which I'll admit I had to Google to find the meaning of, is perfect. It foreshadows the last stanza, with its little kick at the end -- wondering whose mind we're on. This can be taken a couple of ways: whose mind here on earth, or in the hereafter? Now, there's a little vanity for you, and also the question for the ages!

You have caused me to remember why I love to read and think and play with language and ideas, and there's no better thing than that!

K.Lawson Gilbert said...

"yes in between the doors is where
we carve our names
into the air"

Ah, the pondering of life - what *is* it all about anyway?

Our hour upon the stage - everything played out to completion, whether happy or sad, bad or good.

and just before we know
we’re gone
we think about
whose mind we’re on

What a clever line! Yes..there's THE question that's on the minds of all the nearly dearly departed.
Like Karen said, the question for the ages!

I like the word hevel. I had to google it, too. It's meaning is the perfect theme from which to create a poem.

(if you're lucky little faces) - sweet, sweet sentiment.

Very witty...and much appreciated.

RachelW said...

I wonder; is that what we think of in the final hours? I know it does come up, at least somewhere in the middle of it all...

silly unicorn said...

"walk in alone
walk out alone
and in between
there’s stuff to own
and calls to make
and work to do
and someone who will
make you blue"

yup! that's life...

I feel, for me at least, the most important thing in life is to make as many pple as possible, SMILE :)
and doing so... i'll probably earn a little place on their mind, in the end. ;)

Julie said...

This is another fantastic poem that makes me think deeply. I love Karen's comment about the Keats' epitaph. That fits this poem perfectly. We really are writing our names in the air, aren't we? (I love that line). And whose mind will be on when we head out that final door?

In the end, we all become anonymous to a certain extent. We may read biographies about famous people or hear stories about family ancestors, but we don't truly "know" those people. Even biographies can't fully capture the real person.

Your poem reminds me to do the best I can with each day, to stop and take the time to be kind to a stranger, and to have more patience with those I know and love. I don't know if you intend that or not, but it's what your poem says so beautifully to me. Thank you again, Joaquin:) Wonderful work, as always!!

BloggerMouth said...

How do you do it? How can you be the most lucid poet on the planet and yet make them the deepest pieces of poetry and philosophy? If anything can make a 20 year old smile genuinely at 6.00 am at WORK on a Tuesday morning it's you and your poetry. Thanks again.

Catvibe said...

In between is where we carve our names into the air. Funny that desire to be immortal, even in just an idea, or a thought in someone else's mind. Excellent thoughts.

K.Lawson Gilbert said...

Hi Joaquin - wanted to let you know that I won't be around for a few days, so I can't comment on your up and coming post until Monday. See you then.

joaquin carvel said...

karen - i didn't know about keats' epitaph - i guess we all are, to an extent, "writ in water". thank you for that, and for your mention of the title - wasn't sure about that one but it felt right - so your comment was a big relief.

k. - "played out to completion" - yes - when it all comes down, will the "important" things still be important? also glad you liked "hevel" - changes a lot of things when you know the meaning of it - at least it did for me. thank you - i know i said it last wek, but glad you're back.

rachel - i don't know - i hope it's a while before i find out - but i imagine it's more who you know than what you did.

su - that's a great philosophy - and you've given me more than a few!

julie - i love your take on it - i think i try to remind myself of that but don't live it out as much as i'd like to - but maybe that's why we get more than a day or two to get it right. thank you!

blo-mo - wow - i don't even know how to respond to that - except to say thank you, and that i truly appreciate what a compliment it is to inspire a smile at 6, at work. wow.

cat - i agree - and ironic - we can chase immortality to the point we miss a good chunk of our lives - thank you.